Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
