Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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