Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
