This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
