so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
