he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Small penises have feelings too.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
