maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize