just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
