I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
