I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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