I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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