Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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