So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
