if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
