We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
