it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
