yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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