And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
where are you?
Hypothermia
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
