I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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