nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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