Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
