Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
