Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
