I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
