I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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