i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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