Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
