maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
