I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize