I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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