He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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