I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
