i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
