UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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