why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
