if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
