He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
we made out on top of his cat.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Randomize
