I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
dude i'm inner monologue high
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
