Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
