I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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