that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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