He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Randomize
