Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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