Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
