the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
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