There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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