Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
