wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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