Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
