My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
