is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
