If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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