it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
