New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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