Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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