We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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