oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
