I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
