just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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