How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
