New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
