what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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