She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
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