Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
