So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
