i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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