You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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