you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
