Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize