I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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