You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
