Plan B is the new Plan A
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
