I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
