His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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