Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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