I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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