...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize